Category Archives: Entertainment Musings

Thoughts on my favorite shows.

Bachelorette Emily’s Lost Charisma…Found! (best episode yet!)

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Dare we hope that Emily has found her charisma? The question floated through my mind as they played the teasers for the evening and I found myself getting excited.  After watching the first two episodes, I had almost given up on Emily.  Where was the sparkly, flirty, entertaining woman that we caught glimpses of with Brad? Turns out she might have had a little stage fright/insecurity to deal with, or maybe she just felt overwhelmed when surrounded by the larger group of men, but whatever it was – last night she found her chutzpah!

I haven’t really been a Chris fan since I viewed his pic on ABC.com, but I’m willing to say I was wrong about him.  His date was the first time this season that I actually felt excited for Emily.  Sure he’s a little competitive, young, and he seems to be seriously underestimating what she may have going on with other guys (has he watched the show?), but she sparkles when she’s with him and their first kiss was undeniably romantic. He seems sincere and for the most part sweet, although I could have done without his comment on how unbelievable she looked in a harness! (Ick!)

When Emily lets it slip she’s been thinking about someone since the beginning, I tend to believe that’s her voice and not the producers.  It’s obvious he’s on her list of potentials. There date was a pretty cute set up, but you can’t convince me they couldn’t have checked the weather forecast – scaling the building with a threatening thunderstorm seemed an unnecessary risk. The Charlotte people running into the dance floor after their kiss was a little contrived as well, but cute.  Overall, this date brought me back into the process! Hooray!

The group date was one of the best ever, in my opinion.  Never has a Bachelorette had the chance to get so much scoop on her men before.  Emily’s friends preformed to the best of their ability, not shirking the harder responsibilities like viewing the push up performances or the pectoral magnificence of various men.  If you hung around to watch the credits you caught a glimpse of the reasoning behind Emily’s party time conversation with Alessandro, too.  Would she have kept him by mistake had her friends not been looking out? Maybe!

The group date also gave us the chance to get to know Sean and Ryan better.  With Sean, well, let’s face it – is anyone not head over heels for this guy yet?  He’s handsome, sincere, wants to be a husband and father and talked about family and faith.  He seems like he could be her perfect match! With Ryan – wow – the warning signs that cropped up last week made a full-on appearance tonight.  Could a guy be any denser than to say he wouldn’t be “loving on” Emily if she gained weight?  And to say it in front of her friends? Loser! His behavior at the party before the rose ceremony was like that of  a snotty toddler.  Seriously, I know he may have been sincerely jealous when he saw her kissing Arie, but it’s what he signed up for and Arie’s a race car driver not a ballerina! He called him girly! His face as he lifted his glass for a toast spoke volumes.  She’s picking up on it, too – so it’ll soon be sayonara Ryan!

Emily’s last one-on-one date with Arie showed why he’ll be around until, my guess, the end.  Not sure about the very end but probably top four, at least.  Her actual words after her date with the daring driver, “Guys like Arie are really hard to find.  I feel like I finally found him and I don’t want to screw it up.” My only concern with Arie is that Emily has a bit of a transference issue going on.  First she transferred all her excitement and idol worship of Dolly Parton in to the experience of the date, then she transferred her feelings about little Ricki’s daddy to Arie.  She said he reminds her so much of him – good for Arie, maybe not so psychologically good for Emily finding true love.  She’ll have to get past the image she’s imposing on him to see the real him.

My favorite moment and line of the night had to be when Kalon reprimanded her for interrupting him. In reference to his rudeness she stated, “I do like tall, skinny, and funny but I don’t like tall, skinny, and condescending.” It was at that moment I fell in love with her.  I just wish the producers would have let her kick his skinny butt off the show like you know she wanted to! Sadly, it was Kalon’s nemesis, Stevie, that took the walk out alone since she had already sent Tony and Alessandro packing!

Three moments to keep in mind for future shows: Sean and Emily’s first kiss at the rose ceremony party (oh my goodness!), Arie and Emily’s make out session at the rose ceremony party (oh my goodness gracious!), and Jef’s confession of his crush on her – courtesy of her friend’s advice.  We only caught a glimpse but it was apparent in that moment that her friend’s dug him.  They gave him the edit they gave Sean last week and look what that got Sean this week…I’m just sayin’.

Looking forward to next week’s show – Golly, I’m so happy to be able to say that!

This Means War is worth the rental fee…

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One of my favorite things that happened this week was the release of This Means War on DVD…or for those of us squarely in the digital world –  its availability for download. If you look up the movie reviews, you’ll find a mess of nasty, judgmental crap that doesn’t take into account the one thing that I found to be true when sitting in the opening weekend audience; It was fun.  I saw the movie with three different friends and each time the theater was filled with people laughing from start to finish.

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend the rental.  It’s not a romantic comedy you’ve seen before.  The story follows Lauren (the always loveable Reese Witherspoon) as she deals with the aftermath of her best girlfriend Trish (the hilarious Chelsea Handler) putting her profile on an online dating site.  She meets Tuck and FDR (the incredibly hot Tom Hardy and Chris Pine respectively), best friends and CIA partners, and is attracted to both.  While Tuck and FDR know about each other, she has no idea they’re partners or friends.  The funny happens when the boys use their CIA toys  to spy on and sabotage each other as Lauren tries her best to decide who she likes the most. A particularly funny scene involves Tuck hijacking and earpiece and feeding FDR faulty lines about a Gustav Klimt painting he’s explaining to Lauren while on a date.

There are many more genuinely funny scenes and a subplot involving a German bad guy that moves the action along, but the thing with a movie like this is that you have to watch it for what it is – not what it isn’t.  It’s not an action movie but it has enough action to keep a guy interested.  It’s not a romance/lifetime story but it has some sweet, romantic and downright hot moments.  It is a comedy that’s meant to make you laugh and from my experience and the experience of the three audiences I watched with, it does that.

There are moments in the film where you truly don’t know what will happen or what you want to happen.  The script walks a fine line that allows you to truly root for all three characters, and in the end, the viewer can feel good about the outcome for everyone involved.  Some people call that contrived or unsophisticated.  I call it awesome.  I don’t want to leave a movie, especially a comedy upset or with any lingering feelings unfulfilled.  As they said in the cheesiest of cheesy 80’s movies The Pirate Movie (still a fave for my sisters and me),”Give me a happy ending…every time.”

If you’re a Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, or Chris Pine fan I’d advise you to go ahead and download the movie to keep.  I guarantee I’ll be watching it again.  But even if you’re only a casual fan of those actors, if you’re looking for a light, fun, romantic comedy give the rental a chance.  One word of caution – don’t judge the film by the opening CIA action sequence.  It sets up the relationship between Tuck and FDR and shows you the character of each but it’s not realistic and it’s really not supposed to be.  You have to know from the beginning this flick is about the relationships not the intrigue. The movie really begins when you meet Reese as Lauren Scott.

Happy viewing!

Bachelorette Emily Maynard – Episode Two Thoughts

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Those of you who read my Bachelor and Bachelorette blog regularly know that one of my biggest obsessions and complaints regarding the series is producer interference. I’m not naïve enough to think reality TV is reality, but I would like to be able to watch it without thinking it’s fake. One of the reasons I think the Bachelor/Bachelorette works so well is that actual chemistry usually finds a way to trump the cheesy storylines producers feel compelled to manipulate, but last night’s episode was hard to watch. While there were occasional glimpses of chemistry between Emily and a few (very few) guys, it was hard not to notice the script. Whether it’s because they cast really boring guys to fill “roles” they thought would be exciting, or because Emily’s charisma is only present when acting, my hopes for the season have lessened.

Emily’s first one on one date with Ryan could have been a really cute date, but I don’t think I was the only viewer that got bored. While I have often said I’m looking for a man who can make every day errands romantic and fun, Ryan didn’t seem all that into it. He said the right things but they didn’t feel sincere. During dinner when Emily posed her “challenging questions”, he threw them right back at her. It was then that I got the sinking feeling that he thinks he’s better than her but wants to date her anyway to be able to say he did. His seven page letter seemed forced and too early, and really – couldn’t he have told her to read it later. It’s hard to imagine Ryan Sutter (the original and only Ryan worth loving) allowing Trista to read his thoughts in front of another guy for 15 minutes. The other thing missing from this date? Emily’s pizazz! She couldn’t even pull off the Chuck E. Cheese joke.

It was on the group date with the Muppets that I came to a sad realization. Emily only has charisma when she’s acting. The scenes with Kermit and Piggy sparkled more than her sequined outfits (I really wanted her pink skirt!), but only highlighted the dull interaction with most of the men. I find this a mystery. When you hear almost every guy say after talking with her, “No one else could have had a conversation or moment like ours,” it’s obvious she knows how to make someone feel special, but it’s not showing on-screen.

The group date wasn’t as boring as Ryan’s date, but I did contemplate turning it off and watching it on dvr later. It was evident the group date rose was going to Jef. Did anyone else find it painful to watch her throw herself and her insecurities at him? He looks like a child and I can’t figure out if he is sincerely that clueless. I think he’s playing a part, just like Kaustic Kalon, Squirrely Stevie, and Competitive Chris. This is where I started to see the producer’s fingerprints. You knew they would give Charlie something to freak him out. Kudos to him for actually asking Emily for a different part, and to her for offering to let him sing. She must not have asked permission first though, as the producer’s just gave him something slightly less nerve-wracking – an interview with Piggy. Alas, my thought after the group date was that Emily shined brightest and was most herself in her moment with Ricki after singing (which she should never do in public).

In between these dates we get glimpses of the house and the men left. Woo hoo, more staged conflict between Kalon and anyone else he can insult. These scenes were another area of the show where the script overshadowed the men. The only interesting edit in the mix was Sean’s. Here’s a guy we didn’t see much of last week and who didn’t get a date this week, BUT is obviously getting the good guy edit. He comments were rational, friendly, and showed he’s got friends in the house. There’s a reason they did that. They’re trying to put him in our subconscious. They want us to like him and see him as the hidden hero.

The last date of the evening was with Joe, who Emily describes as looking like Matthew McConaughey. Too bad for Joe – there was no spark. We were treated to a glamorous date that you could tell Emily knew was going nowhere. I think the producers thought that by having a “shocking” early elimination we would be able to tell she was serious about finding love. Even though she cried, it didn’t seem that hard to let him go. At the rose ceremony Emily had to eliminate two more guys. That however, seemed anti-climactic following her scene with Kalon. Anyone who watches the Bachelorette knows that the villain always gets the attention of the Bachelorette early on (Wes? Vienna? Courtney?), but I truly didn’t think Kalon could pull it off. However, when they were chatting it was pretty clear that she did find him attractive and that she bought his, “Oh woe is me, I’m the youngest in the house,” spiel. Yuck!

If I didn’t look up the names of the guys she got rid of, I would only have remembered Aaron because of the glasses – that’s how dullsville these guys are. Truth be told, I wanted her to eliminate a lot more than three guys last night, but that would have been too easy. I guess I’ll suffer through until the producer’s hand me semi-real stuff in the final three or four.

Golly, That’s a Gorgeous Bachelorette…

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Gorgeous! Beautiful! Amazing!

Gag me! If I heard the description gorgeous one more time last night I think I would have been physically ill.  I’m still excited about this season, but I feel really bad for Emily.  I think it’s pretty obvious from their tongues hanging out, nervous, panting reactions that she’s going to have a hard time getting a guy to look past her exterior to really see who she is on the inside!  Then there’s the fact that what should have been a bumper crop of good-looking men is a big group of really average Joes. Thank goodness that there seem to be some men that might have brains, be in it for the right reasons, and look better on TV than their pictures at ABC.com suggested.  Yes, Emily might have a chance for true love after all – IF she can fight through the masses of worshipping idiots to find the keepers in this sorry group.

The limo introductions were pretty pathetic.  I’ve never seen a more jittery group of guys.  Their lines came off as rehearsed and cheesy.  I mean, come on! Prince Charming? Tony’s a nice looking guy but that was way over the top! He, along with Kalon were obviously just looking for that first impression rose (Which she was smart enough to give to a genuinely nice man – but more on Doug later!) Thank God she gave fitness model Jackson the boot after he maligned her with an overused quote that only makes the teen girls I teach swoon! And poor grandma guy – he probably thought he was making a witty comment on the girl who had her grandmother come to the party last season but I don’t think Emily was smart enough to catch on in the moment…probably too overwhelmed by the number of men and names to keep straight.

It was interesting to see her first impressions of some men though.  If you watched her carefully, it seems she would giggle and blink a lot after talking to guys she was attracted to.  Men that fell into this category were Arie (race car guy), Jef (water bottle company owner), Charlie (Mr. Normal Nice Guy), Nate (who she touched first and said smelled good!), John (also known as “Wolf”), Alejandro (San Fran boy) and Ryan (ex – pro football guy.

Twitter was buzzing with comments from fans all the way through the show.  It seems the fans out there were torn between super hot Ryan and normal guy Charlie! I think both will stay around awhile. It’s also fairly observable from the previews that Jef has a future on the show.  He got a really good edit as someone who is looking to see beneath her surface to the real her…still, he was quoted saying, “Her fiancé died so I think she deserves the best.” Um, yeah – that’s logical, right? Jef does have another thing going for him though.  She described him as the “cool guy” and hoped he thought she was “cool”, too.  Sooooo high school, BUT soooo telling.  He’ll be sticking around.

Daddy Doug received the first impression rose for his ability to make her feel relaxed and the way he manipulate their conversation to be about their kids without making it seem like he was using his son.  That letter was an ace in the hole to get him through the first rose ceremony and it looks like it paid more than he expected with the first rose.  He may end up on her nerves eventually but he’s there for a few more weeks.

If I had to place bets now that we’ve met them all I would change my top five to the following: Ryan, Jef, Arie, Charlie, and Nate.

Other guys that will stick around simply because the producers need conflict will be Chris (They were already setting him up to be Mr. Competitive), Stevie, and Kalon.

I like the places they seem to be heading this season and it’s cool she gets to take Little Ricki with her.  I just sincerely hope she can curtail her use of the term “Golleeeeeeee!” so I can make it through the rest of the season without strangling her.

***I haven’t been reading spoilers but in a straight up article I looked at it appears Sean Lowe plays a bigger role in the season than I woul dhave thought – especially since I didn’t mention him….hmmmm 🙂

Emily’s Men: Bachelorette Pre-season Chit Chat

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Well Ladies (and any male readers who may be following this season because…duh…it’s Emily), the men for the new season have been revealed and, I have to say, from the horrendous photos ABC deems fit for the website, I’m not impressed yet.  There seems to be an interesting array of professions, ages, and types and the producers have stayed true to form with their little twist that always makes sane viewers call bad form.  But what I really want to know is: Where are the hotties?  If you open another browser window to ABC.com, you can scroll the pics while you read…I almost follow the order.

My main reason for thinking this season would have potential was that there should have been beautiful men begging for a chance to date Emily.  Instead, we get: a 25 year- old mushroom farmer (just doesn’t seem up Emily’s alley does it?), a Canadian (We know she’s never gonna be able to take little Ricki that far away from her daddy’s family), and a grain merchant from Brazil (who does have hotness potential). Those are the first three guys we see on the site and they don’t seem to bode well for real life love.

The fourth guy we meet is a cutie named Arie, but guess what? He’s also from another country and a race car driver to boot! Did Emily ask to date foreigners? We KNOW she didn’t ask for a race car driver.  That’s the producer’s little way of tweaking the drama.  Let’s put a handsome man in the group who just happens to be of the same profession as her one true love that died in a fiery plane crash. Seems cruel, but she may like the type, so he could have a chance.  Especially when you check out some of the next few guys in the mix.

The 41 year-old technology salesman from Texas may be nice, but if ABC wanted to portray him as anything but a huge nerd they should have had a better stylist on set.  29 year-old fitness model Jackson from Chicago seems to be a triplet this season.  If you’re looking through the pics, try telling the difference between him, Chris, and Aaron. Real estate agent Doug even bears the three a resemblance, but he seems like his resume might give him and edge…only viewing will tell.

Jean-Paul gives the worst answer of the group when he says he’d like “pacifier powers” to keep the peace and get people to chill out.  Seriously dude, if you want a chick like Emily to sit up and take notice I’m not sure that’s the kind of power you should be trying to harness.  David, the required singer/songwriter for this show is actually cute and from Virginia (Close enough for a real chance), but come on – you know he’s only been cast so he can sing her cheesy love songs.  Another man I think might stand a chance would be 32 year-old Charlie from Massachusetts.  A northern accent can be sweeter than honey to a southern girl in the right circumstances.  Could be he’ll stick around.

My personal fave from pictures alone is John, the data destruction specialist from St. Louis, but then again I always did like my smarty pants St. Louis boys in college. Jef (with one f) the 27 year-old from Utah gets the pretty eyes vote, but who knows how he’ll translate on screen…bad pictures make him look like a nerd, but he’s an entrepreneur so he could have charisma. Kalon might also be cute, but what the heck is a “luxury brand consultant”?

Nate the accountant from Arizona looks  dreamy, for an accountant I guess. Michael the rehab consultant looks like he’s probably sweet and sensitive.  He’s handsome, but he also unfortunately looks like he’s twelve.  Randy from Wisconsin is a no go, unless someone else picked out his clothes – in which case he should get another chance at a photo. Kyle the financial planner from Long Beach also looks too much like the a few other guys in the mix and Lerone the real estate consultant is pretty average in the looks department as well.  Both men had extremely bland and predictable Q and A’s under their photos.

Travis the ad sales rep looks good in a manly way Emily might dig after choosing Brad, and if Tony weren’t a lumber trader from Oregon, I’d have given him my prettiest of the pack pick – but she’s not moving to Oregon no matter HOW pretty he may be. Stevie the party MC and Ryan the pro sports trainer have that too perfect, well-manicured look I hate in a man, and Sean, the 28 year-old insurance agent from Dallas is adorable, but their babies would be albino!

So who then would I pick for Emily? Going on looks in really bad photos alone, I’d list my top five as:

Nate, Tony, Sean, John, and Arie

I HAVE NOT  read any spoilers so if you choose to comment, keep it spoiler free! We’ll see what happens when we put some personalities with these faces! The count down is on!

The Lucky One, Time, and Romance

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Watching the credits roll for The Lucky One, a few thoughts floated around in my head.  I pondered Zac Efron’s age and if it was appropriate for a woman my age to be so absolutely smitten and the fact that despite the panning from critics, it was a perfectly satisfying movie for its intended audience – hopeless romantics.  But the thought that brought me to my laptop relates to romance and our experience of time. I don’t think I’ve ever really noticed how intricately they connect.

Time is a funny thing.  When you’re doing something you love it can seem to fly by, or exactly the opposite, it can saunter and meander with the best of them.  For me, watching my favorite love stories always slows time down.  There’s something about settling into a film, liking the characters and trusting love will triumph no matter how bleak the picture so you mind as well enjoy the ride, that actually allows me to enjoy the ride.

In a way, real life love leads us into the same kind of experience.  There’s something about falling in love that lets you savor the moments. Days seem longer and hours last forever when you’re with the person you love.  Not only that, the time that you spend away from that person seems to take on a different quality as well.  People you couldn’t stand get a smile and the two minutes you couldn’t be bothered for seems easier to give.

While I’ve experienced both of the above examples, I’ll admit it was something I haven’t that left the little tug in my heart at the end of the movie.  It’s probably the intertwining of time and romance that is least likely to be real, the most mythical part of the romance novel or film.  It may be the reason I sit through sappy flicks, read romance novels, or even choose to write.

In The Lucky One, Logan ends up with a job at Beth’s home.  They are in contact every day.  She watches him reluctantly at first but as TIME goes by she ever so slightly opens herself up to possibility.  The circumstances of their existence give you the confidence that they have all the time in the world to get to where they are going – true love.

How many of us ever really get that? In my everyday life, even if I were to meet a man who I could be interested in (and I am finally ready to really date again), it would have to happen in the small openings of free time here or there.  He would have a job.  I would have a job.  There are family obligations and too many things crowding our lives for what happens in the movies to ever really happen in the light of day.

Sitting in that movie, I could believe for a second that there are places that exist where people have time to fall in love.  When I read a romance novel I enjoy all the time the leads have to spend together without reading about what happened in the 16 hours they weren’t together.  When I write, I can spend as much time as I want with any of my characters.  Is it too much to hope that a love can be organic instead of scheduled? Does love only happen that way when you are independently wealthy or a lottery winner? Or is it in the choices we make? Is it that when we are faced with finding the person we are attracted to, we must choose to see time differently? Do we make our own reality?  Does romance come from time or does time come from romance?

All Things Hunger Games

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I am among the millions of Hunger Games readers that will be attending the first installment of the three-part series in a movie theater this weekend.  I’m also a member of a multigenerational fandom that may have started with young adult readers but now encompasses grade school kids through grandpas.  I am a reader that liked the Twilight series but found the writing to be at times one-dimensional and the plot simplistic.  But…The Hunger Games is no Twilight and anyone who equates the two shows they haven’t read the books or might be a vampire them self (not of this world).

The Hunger Games as a franchise has the potential to make Edward and Jacob eat dust.  Suzanne Collins beautifully crafts characters with layer upon layer to peel away as we dig deeper into her futuristic dystopia.  Her plot weaves together stories of friendships, family, love and sacrifice with politics, betrayal, violence and pride. To read the Hunger Games is to lose yourself in a world too grotesque for reality (or is it?) that you never want to leave if it means giving up Katniss, Gale, or Peeta.

I wish I hadn’t waited so long to read them.  I confess as a teacher of high school girls, I thought they were just a passing phase that I could live without.  I knew in the first few chapters how wrong I had been.  When Katniss takes the place of her sister whose name is drawn by lot to represent District 12 in the annual games where only one victor will stand alive, tears rolled down my cheeks.  It was the rare reading experience where I was so pulled in by the combination of language, cadence, plot, and character that I lost myself and became the story.  I became Katniss.  I lived inside her mind and became a better person for it.  I moved directly into Catching Fire (my favorite of the three) by downloading it immediately to my Kindle and barely waited a day for Mocking Jay.

There’s a part of me that worries I won’t fall in love with Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss, or think that Josh Hutcherson or Liam Hemsworth are worthy of my affection. Yet I trust in the quality of the product.  As long as it stays true to the saga there’s little chance of disappointment.  I wonder if watching the horror of the games on the big screen will bring on the same reflections about the consequences of our desensitization as a culture to violence, or the possible ramifications of a “reality tv” world.  Mostly I just hope that I can be transported from a room with hundreds of other people into a life or death struggle in which true relationships are formed and felt.  I yearn to experience the feeling that I don’t ever want to leave the theater if it means giving up Katniss, Gale, or Peeta.  Arrrgh…I can’t wait!

Hey Ya’ll! I’m (Maybe) Excited about Emily Maynard as the Next Bachelorette!

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Emily Maynard is the next Bachelorette.  Old news, I know, BUT for the first time since hearing it, I’m sort of excited.  My initial reaction to the reveal wasn’t positive.  I was disappointed that the franchise would again go with a runner up instead of bringing in fresh blood.  On the heels of my disappointment in goofball Ben’s fiasco of a season, I was ready to give up on all things Bachelor/ette.  I guess I could just be feeling the need for optimism, but I think there’s potential that Emily’s season could be one of the best ever.

There’s no denying that Emily has the “it” factor.  The camera loves her.  After catching part of the episode this season where Ashley and Ally helped her dress shop, I was charmed by her charisma. It seems like a given that the Bachelorette should be beautiful (inside and out, but for now let’s focus on the out), but how many seasons have we dealt with disappointments in this area?  Sure we fell in love with Ashley, Ally, Jillian, and Jen, but not since Trista have we really seen the total package.  Part of the fun of watching the Bachelorette is to see gorgeous, dreamy men fall all over themselves and compete for the girl!  For the first time in a great while there’s the chance a group of men will indeed, truly be gorgeous AND dreamy because it seems like all men find Emily to be gorgeous and dreamy!

Then there’s the fact that she might be beautiful on the inside as well.  I’ll admit that after her season with Brad, I indulged in the gossip and rumors that she was probably in it for the publicity and fame, but I think I may have to revise that opinion. I started thinking about the fact that the show is making the unprecedented move to hold events in her hometown instead of making her come to LA. The fact that she demanded this shows she really does put family first and isn’t just interested in another Hollywood experience.  She wants the men to see where and how she lives and to be able to make a commitment fully knowing what they’re getting into. That’s savvy.

Finally, I’m excited because after a season like Ben’s, how can this one not be better?  Anything in comparison will seem like a success.  On Ben’s season watching the women was tiring and icky.  Men are always more interesting to watch in the house.  The villain angle with Courtney really hurt viewers buying into Ben’s final choice.  We’ve already seen the “Bentley” character that wanted Emily over Ashley, so hopefully there won’t be any major villains involved.

The elements are in place. You’ve got the girl that every man desires.  There will be men that every woman will want to watch.  The tragedy of Emily’s past with her first love and her experience with Brad will have the audience hungering for a true “love that heals all” experience!  If the producers can keep their grimy hands out of it and let a realistic and genuine love story unfold, this could turn into one of my favorite seasons ever.

The Flawed Premise: How When Harry Met Sally Kept Me in the Friends Column

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Warning: Friends with Kids spoiler ahead…read at your own risk.

I think When Harry Met Sally ruined my life.  Well, at least I think it ruined my dating life.  I came to this conclusion after seeing the movie Friends with Kids this past weekend.  The premise is that two friends decide to have a kid together so they can skip the romance sucking whirlwind that children seem to be to a marriage and leave themselves open to romance in their future relationships with their respective “person”.  As in When Harry Met Sally, when the woman voices her love for her friend there is the inevitable break-up of the friendship, followed by the overwhelming romantic moment when the man realizes he was in love with her all along and pleads for her to still be in love with him.

For a good fifteen years I bought into waiting for, as have millions of other women, the moment when a man who has been your friend suddenly realizes he is emphatically in love with you.  It’s what should happen – what I should wait for!  If I can just be a good enough friend, one day it’ll pay off.  He’ll realize I’m the one.  While watching Friends with Kids I realized with horror that the truest moment in the movie, the one that has happened over and over in my own life, is the moment at the woman’s birthday dinner where she spills her secret and he honestly says to her, “I love you. You’re my best friend, but I’m not attracted to you.”

Truth is – in real life – that’s where the movie would end, and it would be a tragedy.  The guy moves awkwardly on and she spends the next year getting over her feelings just to go ahead and fall for another “friend”…always hoping for that When Harry Met Sally moment when the guy will realize it’s been her all along.

This realization made me consider how I’ve approached attraction and dating since viewing that Billy Crystal/Meg Ryan classic romantic comedy.  The thing is, I think, (I’m not a guy so I can’t know for sure) that guys aren’t looking for a best friend, at least initially.  I realize that I have been operating from a flawed premise.  While I may be able to fall in love with a best friend, a guy’s not going to really be my best friend until after he falls in love with me.  I have watched so many guys I’ve been “friends” with that I’ve had crushes on over the years pick/marry the girl that I looked at and thought, “Seriously?  She’s nothing like him.  They’ll never make it.  She doesn’t even like the same stuff he does.  How can he stand hanging out with her?”  What I didn’t see was the attraction that comes from the fact that she’s not like him; the mystery that comes from her otherness.

Once a man has put you in the friend column it’s extremely difficult to get out.  Unfortunately, I’ve been sticking myself into it on purpose for quite a while.  “Hi, let me show you how great I am at talking sports.  Let me listen to your stories about your ex or the girl across the way you want to hit on.  You want to hang out after your divorce but you’re not ready to date anyone yet?  Of course – that’s fine.”  I’ve been pretty stupid. (Caveat – if I wasn’t truly repressing my girly/romantic nature and trying to be his “friend” this wouldn’t have been stupid, but I was.) I like soap operas and romance novels.  I like when a guy opens the car door for me.  I like jewelry and flowers and chic flicks with other girls over football games with the guys.  I want to wear clothes that make him think I’m beautiful and desirable as opposed to non-threatening and laid back.  I want him to like my mind but not because it’s like his…I want him to like it because it’s mine.

Flipping it the other way, I wouldn’t really want a guy that acted like my girlfriends either!  When I look at my successful relationships there’s no question they didn’t start out as friendships.  In fact, only my biggest heart breaks have come from this common romantic comedy formula for love.  So why is it so hard to give up on this silly dream of the best guy friend that suddenly sees he’s been in love with you the whole time?  I’m not 100% sure but I definitely place a good portion of the blame on a guy named Harry and a girl named Sally.

Entertainment? I Like What I Like and I’m Not Gonna Lie…

Entertainment Musings

Last night I admitted to being a Once Upon a Time fan.  What makes this admission brave is that I admitted it to someone who was involved in a rousing discussion on the excellence of a particular cult favorite cable show.  I almost bit my tongue, but then thought “whatever.” I like what I like and I’m not embarrassed.  While I was pleasantly surprised that this person was fine with my confession, it has been a more common experience that people who consider themselves “artistic” exhibit snobbery regarding main stream entertainment.

Let me put this out there: I watch General Hospital daily, I blog about the Bachelorette, I love Survivor, Once Upon a Time, and Suburgatory. I don’t have cable. With a digital antenna and Tivo, I haven’t felt the need. I can find everything I want to watch on broadcast TV or the internet. I like romantic comedies, and sometimes really cheesy adventure films.  It doesn’t have to win an Oscar or an Emmy for it to be my new favorite experience, in fact most of my favorites don’t.

I dislike when people put down my shows for lack of “artistic” quality, or the fact that they’re too simple or have been done before! Entertainment…hmmm…I see the word entertain in there.  Yes, television and movies can change society and the world.  Yes, television and the movies sometimes have the responsibility to educate.  But for the vast majority of people, television and movies are entertainment that allows escape from the doldrums of daily life.

I want to watch people fall in love, be saved, die, get hurt, forgive each other, and seek revenge.  In my daily life I don’t tend to see much of that.  I want to watch it somewhere safe where I can experience things but not on such a level I can’t sleep after watching it. And if “artistic” endeavors give you that experience then all the more power to them and you, but don’t think that what I felt when I cried at the Huntsman’s death on Once Upon a Time was any less important or different from when you cried at The English Patient.  Don’t think that my experience of Allie and Noah’s love in The Notebook or Jack and Rose in Titanic is any less of an emotion than yours when you watched Casablanca.

Good entertainment elicits a feeling of communion with what you’re watching.  Just because I easily commune with shows that don’t push the envelope doesn’t make me any less a connoisseur than you. In fact, I think it gives me an edge because I have infinitely more chances of finding something good to watch!

Not a good “Ben”ginning…

Entertainment Musings,

I was not one of the Ben lovers who wanted a whole season of his goofy yet sincere person looking for love. After the first episode of this season’s The Bachelor, I have to say, nothing has changed. If anything my opinion of Ben got worse with viewing. Now, I’m not impugning his character. He is obviously a genuinely nice guy looking for love, but choosing Ben has, in my opinion, led the producers to some decisions I think will kill the season.

Why in the world would they cast the group of women they did? There were probably four or five normal, pretty girls in the group. I thought there might be more until camera angles and crying dramas revealed the hideous truth. Do you think there’s a shortage of women who want to be on the Bachelor? No. I think there’s a shortage of women that want to be on the Bachelor who want to be with someone like Ben. Well, maybe a shortage of women who fit the ideal of what it takes to get on the show. I don’t mean to be shallow but we really don’t want to watch normal people fall in love. Watching The Bachelor is about escape and fantasy.

Ben is cute and Ben is goofy and Ben with Ashley was romantic, sweet, and almost everything we could all want in a guy. Women wanted to be to be loved like Ben was loving her. When you take away the context of Ben being recognized for the diamond in the rough, sincere, loyal and cute man that he is by Ashley, he becomes an average Joe. Everybody says they want an average Joe – until they get him.

Ben was amazed at the plethora of amazingly beautiful women before him. Why? Because he couldn’t get some of those women to look twice at him in real life at the bar! As we watched, looking for a Prince Charming, we found Ben in awww shucks mode clapping his hands like a kid and engaging in discussions with women like, “you do not, yes you do, no you don’t, yes you do”. Jr. High banter if I’ve ever heard it.

So then, what have the producers done that have probably killed the season for me? A bisexual woman who hits on another woman and he keeps her! And he keeps the psycho blogger Carrie Bradshaw wannabe? No way Ben chose them on his own. No way that girl got the idea to bring her grandmother with her on her own. The producers know that we’re not gonna be able to invest in Ben’s choices. They pretty much are saying the season’s gonna suck so let’s make sure we fill it with all kinds of drama and bad girl scenes so that maybe we’ll bring in new viewers who watch other cable reality shows like that.

The Bachelor has never been a virtuous show and most of the time it’s not even about real love, but in few other seasons have I had less hope of someone ending up with a real relationship. When the producer’s have a love story like Ashley and JP, Trista and Ryan, Allie and Roberto, or Jason and Molly they NEVER edit for the drama the way they did last night. My hopes of Ben finding real love in that group are pretty slim. I’ll think he’ll be dumped as soon as the fame goes away.

If I had to pick people I hope he keeps awhile they would be: Jennifer the red-haired accountant who introduced herself with numbers, Lindzi the first impression rose horse girl, or Jamie the nurse who stayed out of the drama. I think they each will be around awhile, but my bet is this season is more like Jake P.’s. Women wanted Jake but when they got Jake they got a season of Vienna. I don’t know who Ben will choose but I REALLY hope the season gets better quickly.

After The Final Rose… One Happy Viewer

Bachelorette, Entertainment Musings, , , , , , ,

Another season of the Bachelorette has come and gone and I have to say, despite a less than promising beginning, I am a totally satisfied viewer. Not because I think Ashley was the greatest bachelorette ever, in fact she was somewhat dull and insecure, and not because the producers filled the season with drama that was unnecessary and at times ridiculous.  I am a satisfied viewer because I feel like I watched a genuine love story that will actually end in marriage.

Ashley wasn’t always fun to watch.  Her insecurities early on were annoying and somewhat overwhelming.  I wanted to reach out and shake her and say to her, “Seriously? You’re the freaking bachelorette! Act like it.”  Watching the final episode though gave me some insight (whether real or not) that helped me revise my thoughts on her self – esteem issues.  I mean, come on, with a sister like that, who needs enemies?  I know she apologized and after watching the season realized what an idiot she was, but had I grown up with someone who obviously didn’t trust any of my instincts – I’m not sure I wouldn’t be as messed up as Ashley felt.  My heart almost broke for J.P. when on the beach she said she just had to figure it out and he responded, “I kind of thought you already had.”

As for the producers and their drama…of course it’s a double-edged sword.  We need the drama to make it interesting, and when you pit 25 guys against each other for one girl you’re going to get some, but did they really have to drag the Bentley saga out for as long as they did?  And, at this point I have to question how much manipulation there was in Ashley’s behavior with Ben the night before the proposals and at the proposal itself.  He was blindsided. Part of it was his fault – he never considered the possibility that she could be having feelings for someone else and he didn’t pay attention to her response when he pointed out she didn’t have a ring on yet.  Did they have to let him get down on one knee? This has been an argument among viewers since Jason Mesnick came in #2. It has merit…making the loser propose just seems cruel.

Still, as I watch Ashley and J.P. doing the required talk show tours, it’s impossible not to feel it was all worth it.  The look that J.P. gets when he sees her is one of real devotion.  I have no doubt that what started on the show has grown exponentially through their Skype sessions and weekends together.  It was smart of the show to finally cave and let the couples see each other during the break.  Ashley is serious about moving to New York and it looks like they’re serious about a wedding next fall.  As to all the rumors of him cheating etc…even Reality Steve says they’re bogus.  When a guy that lives to make fun of and debunk the show says they’re for real – they’re for real.

So, I’m glad I watched and I’m really hoping for a televised wedding next fall.  For any of you doubters out there I am willing to make a bet that this marriage happens.  First five people who want to bet five dollars on it, send me a comment.  I say solid wedding plans will be in the works by Dec. 2012. And now…onto Bachelor Pad!
*****As far as the next Bachelor is concerned, I don’t want Ben or Ames…maybe Ryan P. or Michael Stagliano, but I REALLY want someone NEW!

On Second Look…The Men Tell All

Entertainment Musings, , , , ,

The” Men Tell All” special is generally hands down a better show than “Women Tell All”.  The men lay it all out fairly and honestly while the women get caught up in the cattiness.  The men are able to understand that they just weren’t the one, while the women keep pining away thinking of they’d only had more time.  While both men and women tend to gang up on one or two people who may (William) or may not (Ryan P.) have deserved it, only with the men do you notice guys who you never noticed during the season due to editing shine when given the chance to speak and interact with others.

I’m sure many people will disagree with me, but watching William’s montage and his interview only served to heighten my sense that the guy is indeed, in his own words, a jackass.  He may have been trying to feel sorry, or trying to appear the nice guy, but it was obvious to everyone that he threw Ben C. under the bus and that his roast of Ashley was based in his own truth.  Ultimately, I think he’s just a little immature, but there’s also a bit of a hidden manipulator with low self-esteem hiding inside.

Alternatively, Ryan P. is a decent and genuine guy who sincerely hoped for a relationship with Ashley.  The guys mercilessly made fun of him on the show and in person on “Men Tell All”.  Seems to me that a lot of what bothered some of the guys about Ryan was their own discomfort with his feminine side.  Ryan, like Jason Mesnick before him, has a true wholeness about him.  He’s able to be open with his emotions and is always optimistic.  When he admitted he read the books filled with questions  the guys snickered and laughed, but given the choice, I’d want the man who took the process seriously enough to prepare.  Blake seemed to be the one giving it to him the hardest and I have to say, having watched Blake’s reaction to the Bentley revelation, Ryan is the more mature and better man by far.  There’s a reason they picked Blake to be on the Bachelor Pad with the likes of Kasey, Rated R, Graham Bunn, and Jake Pavelka.

My final thoughts on the “Men Tell All” episode have to do with the guys that shine.  The ones you think, if only she’d seen you this comfortable you could’ve been a contender.  This is unique to the guys show.  Very rarely is there a woman that you think, “Oh, he should’ve kept her.” Tonight’s winner was obviously Nick.  Well spoken, compassionate, and fair, he went after the jerks of the group bringing objective and common sense questions to the table.  I love it when a guy can defend his peers when everyone else is attacking.  Highly evolved men like that are one in a million and definitely the kind of man I’d want to date.

In the end, I can’t wait for tomorrow night’s show.  I am a firm believer that Ashley is right this minute in love and engaged to one J.P. Rosenbaum.  I hope they will be a couple that will follow in the footsteps of Trista and Ryan, Andrew and Jen (even though they didn’t make it long-term – I think it was real.) Jason and Molly, and Ally and Roberto.  My only concern still centers on Ashley herself.  Can she love herself enough to let someone else truly love her? The fact that J.P. is older and wiser gives them a chance…Good luck to them.  Or to her and Ben, if I’ve missed the boat on what true love looks like.

Ashley’s True Love – Viewer vs. Production – Who Knows the Truth?

Bachelorette, Entertainment Musings

The thing about the Bachelorette is that from this point on, it’s a game between viewers and producers for us to either figure out or them to hide who Ashley chooses. I have to admit that if I were a new viewer, I would be confused and enticed after last night’s hometown date edit. It seemed that Ashley was interested in and had four “amazing” guys. There were no crazy relatives with stuffed animals in the basement, or huge behavior errors from anyone. Each person involved seemed sincere and willing to take a chance in love. However, despite the sincerity with which the game was played, there can be no doubt that in the end JP will take home the final rose.

The night started out with Constantine who, I admit, has slowly grown on me. Had this been a real life timeline they may have had a chance, but it’s not and Constantine is just too level-headed to fall in love on television. Still, Constantine’s family was straight out of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Ashley “fell in love” with them. If we were to only listen to everything that Ashley had to say this season we would have a jumbled mess that didn’t give us a clue. But this is a show we can see what’s happening and as much as she loved his family – the chemistry just didn’t compare to what she has with Ben or JP.

But it could easily top what she had with Ames. Personally, I think Ames is a sweet and intelligent man who will make some woman very happy. That woman isn’t Ashley and we all knew it from the moment she hemmed and hawed to his sister about her feelings. Ames comes from an awesome family no doubt, but I think I would always be worried about not being smart enough with them. His sister was one of the most impressive and well spoken women I have seen on reality television EVER. How sweet was the picnic under the magnolia tree and the explanation of Italian renaissance love? But Ashley isn’t quite as nerdy as Ames, no matter how much they think they’re alike and we all knew Ames would be saying goodbye. If we didn’t know it before that awkward kiss, there was no doubt after.

The final two dates with Ben and JP were both edited to make us believe either could be the fiancé of choice. Ben’s date was sweet and filled with meaningful glances. Ashley loved his family and we saw Ben truly open up to his mother about his feelings. Ben is definitely in it to win it, and there are many fans who believe he will be the one. Still, if you watch the goodbyes, there’s no doubt that he’s staunchly planted in second place.

The producers tried to pull one over on us by editing comments to make us question whether JP is actually in love with Ashley yet. They have shown us a few times already that Ben has crossed into love territory. But if you watch Ashley and JP’s date you see that she was always trying to kiss him and touch him, and he ADMITTED to his brother he wants her to pick him now. The Ashley/JP date was clearly the hands down winner, from skating to REO Speedwagon, to laughing at his Bar Mitzvah mullet, to watching her win over his beautiful mother, no question why they saved it for last.

Everything we see between Ashley and JP tells us they’re engaged. Every edit that’s made by the producers causes us to question whether what we’re seeing is reality. Despite the previews that make it seem like she and JP have rough waters ahead we can be fairly certain that he’s the man for her.

The Case for Ryan…

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One of the hardest moments to watch in Monday night’s Bachelorette episode was when it dawned on Ryan that Ashley was not going home to meet his family and was, in fact, sending him home. His eyes evoked a gut response similar to watching someone yell at a puppy. We understood why Ashley was sending him home, but it was obvious he didn’t. Despite his edit as someone who’s a little cheesy, who the guys can’t stand, and who Ashley never really gave a chance, a case can be made for bringing the man back next season. Ryan could possibly be only the second successfully married Bachelor in history if given the chance.

There’s no doubt that Ryan has the looks to make 25 girls fawn all over him. With the help of a stylist, he would easily make  top five  of the most handsome Bachelors in the franchise. He may smile all the time, but it’s a beautiful and sincere smile. He also has the personality. The fact that Ryan grated on the nerves of almost every man there doesn’t mean the same things as it did with characters like Vienna. When a group of women doesn’t like another woman in the house it’s usually for good reasons and the Bachelor just takes longer to see it. But these guys didn’t like Ryan for what? Because he was happy? Ryan has a little too much of a feminine side in him to be the “Guys guy”.

But you know, Jason Mesnick had a tender side.  So did Andrew Firestone. Had Jen Schefft had been psychologically able to stay in California, far from her family, Andrew Firestone would have ended up being the first married Bachelor. The fact that he was ready and she wasn’t was evident in her season of the Bachelorette. Jason was amazingly ready to get married and look what happened. Had the show been able to convince Chris Lambton from Allie’s season to become the next Bachelor, he would have ended up married too. It was obvious in his demeanor and maturity that he knew where he wanted his life to go. Tada! He’s engaged to Peyton Wright from Bachelor Pad.

The Bachelor/Bachelorette needs a string of good relationships after the messes with Jake /Vienna and Brad/Emily.  I believe after watching this past episode that it’s possible Ashley may find love. The relationships she has with JP and Ben seem honest and sincerely romantic. Following up Ashley’s love story with Ryan would be a smart move.  He may not have all the audience’s love now, but he’d win us over…if the world can handle the cheese of Andy Baldwin they can handle the genuinely positive outlook of Ryan.

***

Things I loved this episode and other insights:

  • Emily definitely has botoxed her forehead.
  •  Ben reminds me of Kermit the Frog but I like that he is “falling in love” with her.
  • Loved watching JP get jealous but was happy he just whined about it and didn’t get angry with her.
  • JP knows her well. He was the one who hit the nail on the head with why she skipped the cocktail party. “I think it’s just a continuation of her date with Ryan.”
  • Ashley’s body language with Lucas in their “wedding” pics said it all. Looking at those pics he had to know he was going.
  • Constantine grew on me and I liked what he said to her about the fact that she sees in him what he wants others to see in him. I think that’s a big part of beginning a good love relationship.
  • Was anyone else thinking about Rapunzel with the whole lantern date? ABC? Disney? Shameless.
  • Was it a sign that JP got the only rose before the ceremony? When I watched last season I thought there was no way he was picking Emily because it was so obvious that she was the one he wanted…are they doing the same thing, or tricking us? Arrrgh!