Emily’s Men: Bachelorette Pre-season Chit Chat

Well Ladies (and any male readers who may be following this season because…duh…it’s Emily), the men for the new season have been revealed and, I have to say, from the horrendous photos ABC deems fit for the website, I’m not impressed yet.  There seems to be an interesting array of professions, ages, and types and the producers have stayed true to form with their little twist that always makes sane viewers call bad form.  But what I really want to know is: Where are the hotties?  If you open another browser window to ABC.com, you can scroll the pics while you read…I almost follow the order.

My main reason for thinking this season would have potential was that there should have been beautiful men begging for a chance to date Emily.  Instead, we get: a 25 year- old mushroom farmer (just doesn’t seem up Emily’s alley does it?), a Canadian (We know she’s never gonna be able to take little Ricki that far away from her daddy’s family), and a grain merchant from Brazil (who does have hotness potential). Those are the first three guys we see on the site and they don’t seem to bode well for real life love.

The fourth guy we meet is a cutie named Arie, but guess what? He’s also from another country and a race car driver to boot! Did Emily ask to date foreigners? We KNOW she didn’t ask for a race car driver.  That’s the producer’s little way of tweaking the drama.  Let’s put a handsome man in the group who just happens to be of the same profession as her one true love that died in a fiery plane crash. Seems cruel, but she may like the type, so he could have a chance.  Especially when you check out some of the next few guys in the mix.

The 41 year-old technology salesman from Texas may be nice, but if ABC wanted to portray him as anything but a huge nerd they should have had a better stylist on set.  29 year-old fitness model Jackson from Chicago seems to be a triplet this season.  If you’re looking through the pics, try telling the difference between him, Chris, and Aaron. Real estate agent Doug even bears the three a resemblance, but he seems like his resume might give him and edge…only viewing will tell.

Jean-Paul gives the worst answer of the group when he says he’d like “pacifier powers” to keep the peace and get people to chill out.  Seriously dude, if you want a chick like Emily to sit up and take notice I’m not sure that’s the kind of power you should be trying to harness.  David, the required singer/songwriter for this show is actually cute and from Virginia (Close enough for a real chance), but come on – you know he’s only been cast so he can sing her cheesy love songs.  Another man I think might stand a chance would be 32 year-old Charlie from Massachusetts.  A northern accent can be sweeter than honey to a southern girl in the right circumstances.  Could be he’ll stick around.

My personal fave from pictures alone is John, the data destruction specialist from St. Louis, but then again I always did like my smarty pants St. Louis boys in college. Jef (with one f) the 27 year-old from Utah gets the pretty eyes vote, but who knows how he’ll translate on screen…bad pictures make him look like a nerd, but he’s an entrepreneur so he could have charisma. Kalon might also be cute, but what the heck is a “luxury brand consultant”?

Nate the accountant from Arizona looks  dreamy, for an accountant I guess. Michael the rehab consultant looks like he’s probably sweet and sensitive.  He’s handsome, but he also unfortunately looks like he’s twelve.  Randy from Wisconsin is a no go, unless someone else picked out his clothes – in which case he should get another chance at a photo. Kyle the financial planner from Long Beach also looks too much like the a few other guys in the mix and Lerone the real estate consultant is pretty average in the looks department as well.  Both men had extremely bland and predictable Q and A’s under their photos.

Travis the ad sales rep looks good in a manly way Emily might dig after choosing Brad, and if Tony weren’t a lumber trader from Oregon, I’d have given him my prettiest of the pack pick – but she’s not moving to Oregon no matter HOW pretty he may be. Stevie the party MC and Ryan the pro sports trainer have that too perfect, well-manicured look I hate in a man, and Sean, the 28 year-old insurance agent from Dallas is adorable, but their babies would be albino!

So who then would I pick for Emily? Going on looks in really bad photos alone, I’d list my top five as:

Nate, Tony, Sean, John, and Arie

I HAVE NOT  read any spoilers so if you choose to comment, keep it spoiler free! We’ll see what happens when we put some personalities with these faces! The count down is on!

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