Category Archives: Stuff I love…all kinds of recommendations and links

How One Boring Night Turned Me Into a K‑Drama Rom‑Com Addict

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I stumbled onto K-Dramas one dull summer evening a few years ago on Hulu. I’ve always enjoyed subtitles and there was show called Kiss Sixth Sense that caught my eye. I can vaguely recall the premise, a woman got premonitions when she kissed a certain man, but what I most remember is how it made me feel. I love a good comfort show. A show that I know, despite conflict or crisis, is going to work out in the end. If it has romance, a little comedy, and a little of the supernatural, it ticks all the boxes for me. K-Dramas also often have an earnestness, deep family relationships, and developed side characters that are hard to find these days. After watching that show, I felt satisfied in a way that I hadn’t since the early days of Hallmark movies, when they weren’t a formula I could predict with acting that made me cringe (yes – those days existed).

I didn’t know that I had initiated an addiction that would supplant all other tv viewing (except Peacock’s Traitors) for me for the foreseeable future. I moved onto a drama streaming on Netflix called Chocolate. This was about a doctor who went to work in a hospice and a woman who ended up a chef at that same hospital. It introduced to me to the elements of K-dramas that I now look forward to…a childhood connection very slowly revealed, a cast of side characters that feel like family and have real personalities instead of being filler, a second male lead that you know it won’t work with, but is still enticing in their own way (the seconds in Hallmark are sooo unworthy), a very long awaited first kiss, and loads of tears that I shed in empathy, sympathy, and relief.

From there, I found the four series that stoked my addiction so hard that I subscribed to Viki, an Asian platform with almost every Drama I could want. These four are still my all time favorites: King the Land (Netflix), What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim?, Hometown Cha Cha Cha, and Suspicious Partner. These are solid romances with zingy dialogue, great chemistry, a little comedy, solid characters, and lots of episodes. Traditional K-dramas are basically 16 episode contained stories – no season twos. Recently Netflix has been making 10 – 12 episode series, a move that I think is taking them scarily close to the formulaic, glossy and forgettable Hallmark movies of today, but I digress.

One of the things that happened to me, and to most of my friends who had never watched Korean dramas before, was that we suddenly became obsessed with fabulously swoon-worthy Korean actors that we would never have known existed until we watched them in these rom-coms. Ji Chang-wook was my first real K-drama crush and I devoured Healer and Suspicious Partner.  Park Bo Gum became a favorite of not only mine, but my 76 year-old mother who has also become an addict. We both loved Encounter and Love in the Moonlight (a historical Drama romance – a whole other category of romance I never would have imagined loving). There are too many others to mention, but Lee Jun-ho (King the Land), Kim Seon-ho (Hometown Cha Cha Cha), and Kim Jae-wook (Her Private Life) took me down rabbit holes of their work.

I have yet to introduce someone to the rom-com K-drama genre that hasn’t watched more than one. I highly recommend giving them a try. My mom is still mad at me because once you start one, it’s hard to do anything else. Still, the joy they’ve brought me is absolutely real and I am so glad I took a chance that one boring night.

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Ji Chang-wook or his management team. All referenced social media content belongs to Ji Chang-wook and is shared here for informational and fan appreciation purposes only. Please visit his official Instagram account for original content.

***To get started you can search Korean Rom Coms on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

I subscribe to the Viki App through my Roku account, but if you’re on Amazon Prime the CJ ENM Selects subscription could work for you. I’m an Amazon affiliate and would get a commission if you want to use my link.

https://amzn.to/4dOhUC4

A New Way of Loving Myself!

Stuff I love...all kinds of recommendations and links, , , , , , , ,

Re-upping this post from a long time ago because it’s still one of the best books for changing how I thought, and I wanted to include my amazon affiliate link in case you want it! Amazon affiliate link to purchase
I’ve had some hard days recently. I think we all at times over-commit or add new things to our lives without removing the old. When this happens it can lead to depression, anxiety, or in my case a little of both.

Now – I confess that even in good times I have a penchant for self-help books which I really enjoy, but from which I rarely find new insight. When I bought the short and sweet, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended on It, by Kamal Ravikant (I bought it on Amazon Kindle), I didn’t have high hopes – and in a way I was right. The book’s whole message is you have to love your self. Duh! Heard that all before, but Ravikant has a way with words – a way of explaining the concept so that it’s like hearing it for the first time. The question he posed led me to some very real decisions and very new revelations.

Whenever we think of loving ourselves, it’s presented like a chore. It will be hard, but you must come to “accept” your flaws and love yourself anyway. The focus is usually on finding a way to see ourselves as “worthy” even though we may feel we are not.
But what if we instead focused on the loving?

When I think about the people I have loved over the years, I see them clearly, flaws and all. I also see that I never focused on choosing to love them despite their flaws, I just loved them, and in most cases, did everything in my power to help them get what they needed, desired or deserved. I put them first even though I could clearly see their faults. I put them first because their faults didn’t matter. If we stop spending all this time trying to get over our flaws and just focus on the act of loving, maybe we can go further than we have before.

Ravikant asked what we would do if we truly loved ourselves?

What would I do if I loved myself the way I loved all those people in my past – the people I went to bat for even when I knew I shouldn’t because I loved them, the people who I told to take time for themselves without feeling guilty, the people I found jobs for, and helped get through beauty school and citizenship tests? How would I “love” myself if they were me?

Looking from that perspective was like a lightning bolt to my soul. If I were someone I loved I would be giving myself quite different advice. If I were someone I loved, I’d say “Quit that right now!”, “Take care of yourself!”, “Market your book like you’re the fabulous writer you are!”, “Make that call!”, “Say no and mean it!” If I loved myself like I loved them I would spend hours trying to help and listen and understand instead of saying get over it, move on, you really messed that up, etc…

Instead, I tell myself to put other’s needs first. I tell myself to do what’s necessary to avoid conflict and awkward feelings. But that’s advice I would never give my God-children, my best friend, or one of my students. It’s advice that sacrifices the very things that would bring me happiness and probably success.

I have heard, “Love yourself!” over and over and over! Heck, I’ve even taught it to young women for years…but love isn’t a feeling – it’s an action. I’ve always understood that when it comes to loving others. Why was it so hard to see it about myself?

What about you? Is this revelation just new to me? Have you thought about loving yourself is an active way before – the way you love others? What difference would it make in your life?