Tag Archives: Kaitlyn

The Bachelorette: I LOVE Kaitlyn, but I’m OUT for good!

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I am finished with The Bachelorette. Monday night I thought there might still be a way to keep watching the show. I thought perhaps I could forgive the two Bachelorette stunt that took the choice out of the young woman’s hands and then gave it back to her only to plague her with insecurity over whether the guys stayed for her – not to mention intentionally pitting the women in the fan base against each other. What has pushed me over the edge may not even seem like a big deal to most people. What has finally made me turn down the rose is the continuous exploitation, double standard and disrespect for the lives of the people they showcase. I’m talking about those previews with all the tears and all the anger regarding Kaitlyn’s “obvious from the editing” choice to sleep with one of her bachelors.

The show has danced around hook-ups for years. Whether or not anything has happened in past fantasy suites, it’s definitely implied. It was hinted at and then openly discussed that Juan Pablo had been with Claire. There was all the hoopla surrounding Nick asking Andi why she’d made love to him if she wasn’t going to choose him. The point is that none of those incidents became selling points of a season or a defining characteristic of the bachelor/bachelorettes. None of them were explicitly presented before we had a chance to get to know the person.

By showing the scenes they showed of Kaitlyn last night and having her admit in the previews to the men that she had slept with someone, the show instigated one of the divisive debates out there for ratings. People are passionately opinionated about sex. People will defend her choice and say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her consenting to be with a man she chooses. Others will call her a slut or a whore and never give her a second chance. In addition, the whole season will now be marred by this conflict and moral judgement. The scenes they showed in the previews play to the absolute worst of male and female stereotypes. Not only did we witness her crying and shaming herself, apologizing and demeaning herself, but we saw the men getting angry and storming off because of it. It looked like they were joining forces to stone her! There is a delicate line when it comes to male and female power in relationships and up until a few seasons ago this show had actually done a nice job of respecting it. What’s happened?

For me, whether I think she should have or shouldn’t have made that choice is irrelevant. For me it is once again about the producers and the choices they make in story and editing. They shafted Kaitlyn from the start because they wanted Britt. Go back and look at Mike Fleiss and Chris Harrison’s tweets versus the tweets from the majority of the fans. They didn’t even throw Juan Pablo under the bus the way they did this girl and they totally disliked Juan Pablo. Look at the way Chris worded telling Kaitlyn she was the Bachelorette…unfortunately I had to let Britt go – watch his expressions – he’s not happy. It was manipulative and disrespectful of them to use the film in that way, but probably just part of what’s to come in what I think will be an assassination of her character for the rest of the season.

For me, it’s not about whether those scenes play out the way the previews foretell. I am quitting this show because Mike Fleiss and Co., and that includes Chris Harrison, have been slowly going deeper and deeper into sleaze and disrespecting what gave the show any redeeming qualities. Maybe they can’t tell the difference between Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor Pad, and their flagship show anymore. Maybe it’s that they want ratings or maybe they are so far removed from the real world that they don’t even see how bad they have gotten. Maybe it’s because they were thinly disguised misogynists after all and shame on me for being fooled for as long as I have been. I don’t really care anymore. I hope she finds a way to get her power back and sticks it to them in the live shows, but I won’t be watching. I guess I’ll be reading someone else’s blog to find out.

The Bachelorette: I’m Still Watching…

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So, I’ve always opened myself to ridicule by admitting I watch the Bachelorette, but here’s the deal…I have also always been able to reasonably defend myself. Until now. Last night’s twist was worse than I anticipated. The reason the Bachelorette worked (and the reason it will work for the rest of this season after this travesty) is that the woman holds the power. In addition to being able to choose who she wants to be with, we can be pretty sure the guys who are there want to be with her and are actually in it for a relationship. By taking the power out of the women’s hands and letting the men pick, both of those positives went down the drain. That’s why we’re angry, Chris Harrison. It’s not about your stupid comments that change is hard. SPOILER ALERT FOR TONIGHT’S RESULTS While I am happy that Kaitlyn came out the winner (as the media has let us know), she now has to wonder in every interaction she has throughout the season if a man secretly voted for Britt to stay.

I don’t understand how the show can so seriously underestimate its viewers. Sure, social media would have you believe that everyone is watching for the drama and conflict, and the raunchier/sleazier the better, but that’s not the case. While there is a base audience that is in it for that kind of stuff, those viewers won’t be going anywhere – no need to up the ante for them. The viewers that the show will shed and has shed are the viewers that held out any hope that the show had some sincerity and real romance left. Trista and Ryan + Babies, Jason and Molly +Baby, Ashley and JP + Baby, Sean and Catherine, and a few more past results have proven that DESPITE their attempts to cheapen the game, real love can be found on this show. However, I personally don’t know how much longer I’ll be hanging around.

Juan Pablo was a trip into sleaze. Andi D. was never going to find real love, we could all see it from the start. I began last season with Chris, but quickly lost interest despite liking Whitney. I am here now for Kaitlyn because she reminds me of our favorite Canadian Bachelorette Jillian. She’s real, funny and will hopefully see through the BS the show throws at her. Watching her face last night as the twists kept unfolding you could tell she felt the same way we did. You could see her struggle with the fact that it was all so demeaning, but if she could just get through it she might have a shot at something real. If we could all just get through the episode we might be able to see a real season despite the producer’s intentions.

So, thank goodness that tonight in part two the stunt ends and Kaitlyn is the Bachelorette, although if you haven’t read any online sources you might not know that for sure yet because of the stupid new cliffhangers they’re employing more and more frequently. That’s at least one positive on which to cling!

There are a few more, and their names are Ben H., Ben Z., Dan and Ian (1st Bachelor of color anyone? Finally a guy who could actually be a contender!) Each of these guys showed real personality and genuine interest in the women. And, we can’t leave out Shawn B., who, while not a favorite of mine, was described by Kaitlyn as possible love at first sight. I like the bits of interaction they showed between her and all of these guys, but my early pick is Ben H.  – Wow, show me more of him. Kudos for asking about her tattoo, dude! I always wondered about it myself. Point in Kaitlyn’s column for her answer being sweet and meaningful. See, the good does shine through the sleaze, despite the efforts to make the show sensational. I’m also interested in seeing more about David, who we only caught glimpses of. He’ll either be the guy in three episodes that we’re all still wondering about or an actual contender for her heart.

I’ll be watching tonight with the hope that I won’t feel as ashamed of myself as I did last night. I’ll be watching with the hope that things get back on track when Britt leaves. I’ll be watching and hoping that we see some of the old Chris Harrison who seems like a different guy since his divorce (Seriously, his crush on Britt was half the reason we’re in this mess.) And, I’ll be watching because I really like Kaitlyn and want to see her fall in love. In short, I’ll still be watching because I can’t help who I am, a hopeless romantic who keeps going back for more even after she realizes the show she loves isn’t worthy of her.