Tag Archives: Bachelorette

After The Final Rose… One Happy Viewer

Another season of the Bachelorette has come and gone and I have to say, despite a less than promising beginning, I am a totally satisfied viewer. Not because I think Ashley was the greatest bachelorette ever, in fact she was somewhat dull and insecure, and not because the producers filled the season with drama that was unnecessary and at times ridiculous.  I am a satisfied viewer because I feel like I watched a genuine love story that will actually end in marriage.

Ashley wasn’t always fun to watch.  Her insecurities early on were annoying and somewhat overwhelming.  I wanted to reach out and shake her and say to her, “Seriously? You’re the freaking bachelorette! Act like it.”  Watching the final episode though gave me some insight (whether real or not) that helped me revise my thoughts on her self – esteem issues.  I mean, come on, with a sister like that, who needs enemies?  I know she apologized and after watching the season realized what an idiot she was, but had I grown up with someone who obviously didn’t trust any of my instincts – I’m not sure I wouldn’t be as messed up as Ashley felt.  My heart almost broke for J.P. when on the beach she said she just had to figure it out and he responded, “I kind of thought you already had.”

As for the producers and their drama…of course it’s a double-edged sword.  We need the drama to make it interesting, and when you pit 25 guys against each other for one girl you’re going to get some, but did they really have to drag the Bentley saga out for as long as they did?  And, at this point I have to question how much manipulation there was in Ashley’s behavior with Ben the night before the proposals and at the proposal itself.  He was blindsided. Part of it was his fault – he never considered the possibility that she could be having feelings for someone else and he didn’t pay attention to her response when he pointed out she didn’t have a ring on yet.  Did they have to let him get down on one knee? This has been an argument among viewers since Jason Mesnick came in #2. It has merit…making the loser propose just seems cruel.

Still, as I watch Ashley and J.P. doing the required talk show tours, it’s impossible not to feel it was all worth it.  The look that J.P. gets when he sees her is one of real devotion.  I have no doubt that what started on the show has grown exponentially through their Skype sessions and weekends together.  It was smart of the show to finally cave and let the couples see each other during the break.  Ashley is serious about moving to New York and it looks like they’re serious about a wedding next fall.  As to all the rumors of him cheating etc…even Reality Steve says they’re bogus.  When a guy that lives to make fun of and debunk the show says they’re for real – they’re for real.

So, I’m glad I watched and I’m really hoping for a televised wedding next fall.  For any of you doubters out there I am willing to make a bet that this marriage happens.  First five people who want to bet five dollars on it, send me a comment.  I say solid wedding plans will be in the works by Dec. 2012. And now…onto Bachelor Pad!
*****As far as the next Bachelor is concerned, I don’t want Ben or Ames…maybe Ryan P. or Michael Stagliano, but I REALLY want someone NEW!

On Second Look…The Men Tell All

The” Men Tell All” special is generally hands down a better show than “Women Tell All”.  The men lay it all out fairly and honestly while the women get caught up in the cattiness.  The men are able to understand that they just weren’t the one, while the women keep pining away thinking of they’d only had more time.  While both men and women tend to gang up on one or two people who may (William) or may not (Ryan P.) have deserved it, only with the men do you notice guys who you never noticed during the season due to editing shine when given the chance to speak and interact with others.

I’m sure many people will disagree with me, but watching William’s montage and his interview only served to heighten my sense that the guy is indeed, in his own words, a jackass.  He may have been trying to feel sorry, or trying to appear the nice guy, but it was obvious to everyone that he threw Ben C. under the bus and that his roast of Ashley was based in his own truth.  Ultimately, I think he’s just a little immature, but there’s also a bit of a hidden manipulator with low self-esteem hiding inside.

Alternatively, Ryan P. is a decent and genuine guy who sincerely hoped for a relationship with Ashley.  The guys mercilessly made fun of him on the show and in person on “Men Tell All”.  Seems to me that a lot of what bothered some of the guys about Ryan was their own discomfort with his feminine side.  Ryan, like Jason Mesnick before him, has a true wholeness about him.  He’s able to be open with his emotions and is always optimistic.  When he admitted he read the books filled with questions  the guys snickered and laughed, but given the choice, I’d want the man who took the process seriously enough to prepare.  Blake seemed to be the one giving it to him the hardest and I have to say, having watched Blake’s reaction to the Bentley revelation, Ryan is the more mature and better man by far.  There’s a reason they picked Blake to be on the Bachelor Pad with the likes of Kasey, Rated R, Graham Bunn, and Jake Pavelka.

My final thoughts on the “Men Tell All” episode have to do with the guys that shine.  The ones you think, if only she’d seen you this comfortable you could’ve been a contender.  This is unique to the guys show.  Very rarely is there a woman that you think, “Oh, he should’ve kept her.” Tonight’s winner was obviously Nick.  Well spoken, compassionate, and fair, he went after the jerks of the group bringing objective and common sense questions to the table.  I love it when a guy can defend his peers when everyone else is attacking.  Highly evolved men like that are one in a million and definitely the kind of man I’d want to date.

In the end, I can’t wait for tomorrow night’s show.  I am a firm believer that Ashley is right this minute in love and engaged to one J.P. Rosenbaum.  I hope they will be a couple that will follow in the footsteps of Trista and Ryan, Andrew and Jen (even though they didn’t make it long-term – I think it was real.) Jason and Molly, and Ally and Roberto.  My only concern still centers on Ashley herself.  Can she love herself enough to let someone else truly love her? The fact that J.P. is older and wiser gives them a chance…Good luck to them.  Or to her and Ben, if I’ve missed the boat on what true love looks like.

The Case for Ryan…

One of the hardest moments to watch in Monday night’s Bachelorette episode was when it dawned on Ryan that Ashley was not going home to meet his family and was, in fact, sending him home. His eyes evoked a gut response similar to watching someone yell at a puppy. We understood why Ashley was sending him home, but it was obvious he didn’t. Despite his edit as someone who’s a little cheesy, who the guys can’t stand, and who Ashley never really gave a chance, a case can be made for bringing the man back next season. Ryan could possibly be only the second successfully married Bachelor in history if given the chance.

There’s no doubt that Ryan has the looks to make 25 girls fawn all over him. With the help of a stylist, he would easily make  top five  of the most handsome Bachelors in the franchise. He may smile all the time, but it’s a beautiful and sincere smile. He also has the personality. The fact that Ryan grated on the nerves of almost every man there doesn’t mean the same things as it did with characters like Vienna. When a group of women doesn’t like another woman in the house it’s usually for good reasons and the Bachelor just takes longer to see it. But these guys didn’t like Ryan for what? Because he was happy? Ryan has a little too much of a feminine side in him to be the “Guys guy”.

But you know, Jason Mesnick had a tender side.  So did Andrew Firestone. Had Jen Schefft had been psychologically able to stay in California, far from her family, Andrew Firestone would have ended up being the first married Bachelor. The fact that he was ready and she wasn’t was evident in her season of the Bachelorette. Jason was amazingly ready to get married and look what happened. Had the show been able to convince Chris Lambton from Allie’s season to become the next Bachelor, he would have ended up married too. It was obvious in his demeanor and maturity that he knew where he wanted his life to go. Tada! He’s engaged to Peyton Wright from Bachelor Pad.

The Bachelor/Bachelorette needs a string of good relationships after the messes with Jake /Vienna and Brad/Emily.  I believe after watching this past episode that it’s possible Ashley may find love. The relationships she has with JP and Ben seem honest and sincerely romantic. Following up Ashley’s love story with Ryan would be a smart move.  He may not have all the audience’s love now, but he’d win us over…if the world can handle the cheese of Andy Baldwin they can handle the genuinely positive outlook of Ryan.


Things I loved this episode and other insights:

  • Emily definitely has botoxed her forehead.
  •  Ben reminds me of Kermit the Frog but I like that he is “falling in love” with her.
  • Loved watching JP get jealous but was happy he just whined about it and didn’t get angry with her.
  • JP knows her well. He was the one who hit the nail on the head with why she skipped the cocktail party. “I think it’s just a continuation of her date with Ryan.”
  • Ashley’s body language with Lucas in their “wedding” pics said it all. Looking at those pics he had to know he was going.
  • Constantine grew on me and I liked what he said to her about the fact that she sees in him what he wants others to see in him. I think that’s a big part of beginning a good love relationship.
  • Was anyone else thinking about Rapunzel with the whole lantern date? ABC? Disney? Shameless.
  • Was it a sign that JP got the only rose before the ceremony? When I watched last season I thought there was no way he was picking Emily because it was so obvious that she was the one he wanted…are they doing the same thing, or tricking us? Arrrgh!

Bachelorette Ashley Has Baby Squirrel Syndrome

This morning driving to work a baby squirrel barreled towards the road in front of me. I stepped on my breaks and as I did, the squirrel turned and ran back towards safety. Then suddenly, he turned and ran straight for the road again. Thank goodness I stopped in time. There have been times in my life where I’ve suffered from baby squirrel syndrome. I’ve psyched myself up to try something and began running straight for the goal, only to turn around at the first sign of danger. Had I stopped there, I might have been considered mature, or conversely a coward, but things would never have degenerated into road kill. The mistake of the baby squirrel was in suddenly reversing and running headlong into danger. It was as if he became confused in his fear and over reacted in a way that could have cost him his little life.

The Bachelorette’s Ashley Hebert seems to be suffering from baby squirrel syndrome this season as well, first with Bentley, then with her decision to tell the others about the Bentley saga. In the beginning Ashley knew Bentley was trouble. She’d been told so by Michelle Money through texts before the show. I can see where maybe she wouldn’t have listened; she and Michelle weren’t the best of friends in their fight for Brad. But she ran towards the road anyway and it seemed like she had made the turn for an episode or two when Bentley left and we saw some decent progress with her, JP, and Ben!

Ultimately though, baby squirrel syndrome took over and she became confused and fearful running right back into the road. It was painful to watch how hopeful she was when she was told Bentley was in the hotel. For those of us who have been manipulated by guys as suave and snake-like as Bentley it was like watching a cat play with a mouse and we knew that the mouse would lose. No doubt about it, even with her assertive “*&#@ you” after their meeting, as an audience we knew she had tire tracks all over her.

The one thing she had going for her at this point was the fact that none of the guys was aware of her recent confusion and immaturity. She seemed lighter, more sure of herself, and really ready to move on and give the guys a chance. Cue repeat of the syndrome. Now, there are arguments that can be made for telling J.P. the truth. If her feelings are as strong for him as she said, full disclosure and honesty is important. But she could also have waited until they were stronger as a couple or even engaged to say, “Hey – you might not like the first few weeks of the show.” She was lucky that the driver on the road – J.P. – was compassionate and understanding, and probably already in love with her.

I have to think that J.P. probably felt a lot like I did watching the squirrel run right back into the road when he heard her telling the other guys. She’d already been luckier than she deserved in his reaction and then she decides to lay it all out there for everyone else? Poor Mickey and Blake accidentally over-corrected and hit her hard, while Constantine and Lucas just seemed to step on the gas. (Side note here: the whole scene was a tribute to the fragility of the male ego…even J.P. had to get in on the action and rub it into the other guys that she told him first.)

I really hope that with all of this behind her she can be cured of her ailment and develop a decent relationship with one of the deserving guys left, but the previews don’t bode well. The producers are either trying to entice us to keep watching with drama because the rest of the season is dull due to her obvious love for J.P. or Ben, or it really was a train wreck and they have no choice in the matter. I still don’t want to give up hope. As sick as she is, I’d like her to find love.

The Bachelorette, Bentley and the Producer’s Mistake

I’ve been mulling this over for about three weeks now, and since the power’s out and there are numerous tornado warnings for everywhere around me I thought: What better time to express my thoughts on the train wreck that is Bentley.  I 100% blame the producers for thinking that Ashley, in and of herself, wouldn’t be interesting to watch fall in love, and I take some blame for being one of the vocal fans that said I had no desire to watch her.  People like me may have given the producers a slight scare, thus creating this debacle of insecurities and rudeness.

When you start a show with a former contestant texting the Bachelorette and warning her that someone’s not there for the right reasons it smacks of a set up.  I know – it’s a reality show – I don’t  believe there’s no manipulation present, but when you have previous couples married with kids it does lead you to hope that there could be true love in the show’s future…anyway. When Ashley first started liking Bentley we could all relate. BUT, we were all hoping she would be smarter than we were in real life and figure it out.  Turns out Bentley is a master manipulator and very hard to read.  I don’t totally blame Ashley for falling for his schtick.

Buy here’s the mistake I think the producer’s made.  We Bachelorette watchers are first and foremost a crowd looking for love.  We enjoy the romance and want to see something that convinces us two lonely people have found each other.  In carrying on this Bentley saga for as many episodes as they have, the producers have undermined the trust in the process that viewers like me use as a reason to still watch.  At five episodes in, do we really think she’ll be able to get over this guy and like someone else enough to get engaged?

The thing is, there have been sparks between Ashley and other guys.  I think she did find love and I think that she knew earlier on than they’re showing us.  My question becomes, “Why the hell weren’t you showing me the romance I wanted to see…that would make me believe in her relationship?”  Focusing in Bentley diminishes her attraction to the other guys and highlights her insecurities.  Maybe they think that makes for good TV, but what it really makes for is an audience that doesn’t really like their Bachelorette.

When you watch Ben F. and J.P. it’s easy to fall in love, but instead of getting to revel in the guys we like and want to see her fall for, we’re distracted by this asshole that the producers decided makes for good TV. MISTAKE.  Bentley isn’t fun to watch. He isn’t the guy we want to see her with.  He makes me like her less AND he keeps me from seeing her develop real relationships with the guys the audience enjoys.  If I didn’t read Reality Steve I wouldn’t even watch the rest of the season. Pathetic that a guy that makes fun of the show is the only thing keeping me tuned in. I’m a hopeless romantic and can’t give up on my happy ending.

Why I still watch The Bachelorette…

Another season of the Bachelorette is upon us, so I thought I would reflect on my relationship with the franchise in general.  I have to admit I didn’t watch season one or two of The Bachelor.  At that point in time you couldn’t have paid watch reality TV.  Without anything to base my opinion on, I deemed it misogynistic and exploitative, not to mention fake.  After all, who could really fall in love on a show like that?  How could the process of quick elimination work when we all know how hard dating and finding that special someone can be?  Then came the Bachelorette and Trista.  When told from the point of view of a woman, the same process seemed to make much more sense.

After all, a woman who goes on a show entitled The Bachelorette probably really wants to get married.  I don’t think that’s the case for most of the Bachelors, as evidenced by their final rose relationship track record.  A bachelor goes on the show and is exposed to 25 women who fight over him and all of a sudden he thinks, “If these 25 women all want me, how many more women are out there that would want me, too?”  Ego takes over and even if he really did think he might want to get married in the beginning, the seeds of doubt have been planted.  The exception to this has been Jason, who from the very start of the show was obviously genuine in the fact he was ready and looking for a wife – so much so that he braved scores of angry women and the media to follow his heart and dump Melissa for Molly.

The process used in the Bachelor/Bachelorette isn’t really new.  It’s not that different from the process used in historical romance novels depicting England’s “Ton” and the courting process.  People would meet at a ball, the gentlemen would decide who they were interested in and would then “call” on their choices.  The women would then pick (with the help of their fathers, brothers, or uncles– perhaps the Chris Harrison role?) from their suitors.  The suitors may have visited for tea and cakes or perhaps walked with them in the park, but it wasn’t like they dated for months trying to figure out if that person was the one.  With today’s all time high divorce rate for people who “know each other” and live together before marriage, it doesn’t seem like it’s a worse way to do things.

So when Trista fell in love with Ryan and we got to watch them get married, and have babies, it was proof enough to me that there was  a chance that the show could really work.  I sat through seasons like Jake and Vienna in order to catch glimpse of real romance like Trista and Ryan, Jason and Molly, Allie and Roberto, even Andrew and Jen (who didn’t work out – but were no question in love).  I guess you could say that my relationship with the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is like that of a woman who has married a reformed player.  I stay committed because I believe that there’s something real there, but I never let down my guard because I can still always get played.

I’m hoping that this season with Ashley no one gets played and there’s a couple who walks away 100% in love.  If the producers (who I know make half the choices anyway)don’t manipulate the season with the “Bentley” storyline or create unnecessary tension with surprise revelations, I think Ash might have a shot.  My money’s on J.P. and “Cupcake”.