Bachelorette Des – Episode Five: It’s a Fairytale (or so they tell us)

I don’t know what’s going on with this show, but I think they may have some new editors or people deciding what to highlight. It’s basic storytelling – show don’t tell, but I’m hearing the words from Des, “I’m having so much fun,” and she looks bored to death. They’re telling me she’s falling in love and having fun but they aren’t showing me. I don’t think the problem is her or the guys – it’s a great cast. The Bachelorette bleachable moments and the bloopers at the end are more endearing than the actual show and there’s a marked lack of close-ups on any of her one-on-one conversations.This problem is all behind the scenes, someone’s not connecting or recognizing romance in the editing room.

They’re in Munich this week. Michael G. expresses he wants a on-on-one since he hasn’t had one yet. Kasey speaks some German. His German sucks but at least he says he wants to kiss her. Chris gets a second one-on-one which he reads in German. He’s better at it than Kasey, but later he says the only Deutsch he knows is, “Can I have another cappuccino?”

On their date, they start exploring the city. He looks amazing in his black jacket and they kind of look like each other. She says the date’s been fun, but I haven’t seen anything fun yet. They’ve walked around with a map and took a picture with a creepy clown guy. She says Chris is goofy, funny and himself…he’s also in lederhosen.

Back at the room, Bryden’s still whining. His feelings aren’t progressing. He tells James he’s leaving. He’s going to interrupt her date with Chris to do it. Bryden goes out looking for the TV cameras (yeah right…that happened). They’re dancing in circles in the middle of a courtyard as Bryden stands stalker like behind them. WHY? Why are they dancing in circles? They look bored. They aren’t boring people. Chris says the day’s perfect and I don’t think anything could go wrong. Ummm…then after the interruption Chris actually says, “Des and I were dancing to some polka music…” He kept a straight face. He’s worried Des will come back upset.

Bryden thinks he’s made the right decision to leave. She’s a little hurt, but won’t let it affect her date with Chris. She just wants to get back to Chris so she can feel happy again. She says she doesn’t need to talk about it. He makes her happy. Still, Chris takes the opportunity to tell her he is there for the long haul. It’s kind of awkward, but if they both drink that whole beer in front of them, it won’t be awkward for long.

They have dinner in a palace after walking down a long red carpet. He does kind of look like Prince Charming. She asked him what he’s looking for. He’s ready for a relationship and to start a family. She explains how she knows she needs someone expressive. He wrote her something again – on the plane – “Thoughts so true”. It makes her cry and they kiss. He says you can tell a lot from a kiss and her feelings towards him are building and she communicates that very well. All of a sudden they’re having a private concert with Matt White and it’s in his words again, “epic – it’ a fairytale”. He says he’s slowly falling in love with her and he thinks it’s mutual.

This is too much too soon…unless they’re messing with us he probably won’t be the one, but then we haven’t seen any Brooks lately, there just really aren’t any other contenders. But it’s just too much knock you over the head Cinderella imagery and wording here.

The group date is sledding and an igloo. Kasey’s got some charisma! He’s so likable. James thinks they have something so unique and special that no other guys can touch! They go up a gondola looking at the mountains. We’re reminded of Drew. He’s a cutie. They encounter a yodeler (Juan Pablo trying to say “yodeler” was still hot) and then they see the sleds. The guys seem scared. Drew ploughs into her. They have snowball fights that she says bring her back to her childhood.

They go warm up in an igloo hotel with pretzels, a rose, and wine? Brooks gets some nice-on-one time. He talks about their experience together and about how he tries to be in the moment with her. She grabs him and pulls him in for kissing…yep he’s a finalist.

Mikey has her make her snowman family. They talk about whether he’d leave Chicago. He says he’d consider it. Zack W. interrupts with a yodel. Mikey’s pissed, but she likes it. Zack says he thought he was going to be a priest in college and that 10 years ago he climbed a mountain there, and that’s when he knew he wasn’t supposed to be one. He says it’s real for him right now.

Drew thinks James is a player and thinks he’ll be there until the end. He doesn’t understand it. James works it while Brooks looks on. Brooks doesn’t like it so he goes to interrupt. Brooks says James is one way with them and another with her. Brooks watches them kiss but doesn’t interrupt. Later Des says the person she’s giving the rose to brings out the best in her. Brooks gets it. James is full of disbelief because they’re polar opposites, but says the only competition to him is himself.

The most uncomfortable two-on-one ever happens with Michael G. and Ben. Michael says it’ll be hard because he finds Ben repulsive, but in this gladiator like setting he needs to go murder Ben. Strange??? During the group date it’s very uncomfortable with
Michael, Ben, and Chris alone in the hotel. Michael thinks Des may be doing this because she trusts him to expose Ben for the fraud he is.

Again with the “show don’t tell.” I’ve been told Ben is a bad guy since the beginning,but you know what? We’ve not seen Ben do anything more than be devious about getting alone time with her. I feel kind of bad for him which makes me think they could actually be setting him up as a potential bachelor. Make his story a good one…good boy who got a bum rap?

She says at the beginning of the date that she embraces awkwardness. With that Michael brings up that there’s been some confrontational behavior between them. She suggests the polar bear plunge since she didn’t do it in Canada last season. They don’t want to, but Ben says he’s competitive so he’ll do it. As they’re about to jump in she says she has a better idea, they’ll be in a hot tug! She actual has a lot of fun with them.

On the tug, Michael brings up that Ben hasn’t talked to his son since he’s been in Germany. Then moves on to bring up his own childhood issues of his dad not being around. She knows Michael is pushing Ben’s buttons and it’s making her uncomfortable. Ben says it’s hard to be a good person when someone’s saying all this stuff about you, and hopes the night goes better.

Michael says he’s going to show her he has her back, like he said would. Michael asks why Ben hasn’t made friends in the house? She tries asking real questions, like what traditions they want to start with their families? Ben says he wants to go to church every Sunday and Michael says “Well, what about Easter? Didn’t go Easter?” Ben says it was a Catholic service all in German. Michael says there were Morman and Jewish guys that went.

Ben excuses himself for a few moments to cool off. Des says Michael didn’t need to do that there. Ben says he’s saying things to make him look stupid, and like he’s lying. She says she doesn’t see the qualities in either of them that she really wants. They tease at commercial break she might send them both home. Michael realizes from her face after he walks out that he f%&*ed up.

Ben says he’s never had someone question him as a father, or question his faith. Des doesn’t see what goes on in the house and she feels like Ben is sweet and isn’t meaning to be bad. She wants Michael to share why he feels so strongly about why Ben is so bad. Michael says he’s condescending and made comments about his business, and how his business could benefit from their time on the show. Michael is petrified that she could know all this and could still choose Ben.

Des tells Ben she believes he’s a good father and his faith is true, but she can see a potential future with Michael so she gives him the rose. Ben denies Des a chance to walk him out and is pissed. He can’t believe she would pick someone who would treat someone like that. To be honest, I kind of feel the same way. They have him saying things like, how long do I have to wait to be seen with someone, and let’s go get drunk, in the limo as he leaves, but I think he’s pissed and that’s just how he’s dealing.

Back at the house, Drew tells Brooks and Chris, that he and Kasey overheard Mikey asking James about what will happen after they go back to Chicago and he talked about maybe being the next bachelor and how he could introduce Mikey to lots of ladies. They would take over Chicago. Drew hates it and thinks Des needs to know. They guys agree.

The cocktail party is again at a castle. Des calls it a fairytale again. She thinks she may do something different this rose ceremony. It’s also her first sit down with Chris. They talk about how cold it was and that it was a good week. He asks if she’s falling in love and she says she’s getting there. He brings up that she’s kissed quite a few of the guys and asks who’s the best? She’s not kissing and telling. If she could kiss anyone guy right now, who would it be? She says Brooks because their relationship has gone the deepest. Chris says what about purely physical? She says Zack. Wow, we have been edited out of the loop, who knew? Last we saw they had an awkward almost kiss.
She thinks she knows her decision and isn’t going to have cocktail party so it looks like the guys won’t get a chance to tell her about James. So – to be continued… obviously setting up next week’s conflict.

She sends Mikey home and Drew and Kasey are horrified (to the camera).

Next week: Spain and lots of kissing and lots of fighting!

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